Do good regardless of reciprocity
Or else set yourself up for a world of heartbreak.
I think that it’s unsustainable to assume that someone would do the same nice thing for you as you would for them because of course, everyone has different priorities and expectations and ways of expressing love and appreciation.
I think that you should do good and always wish others well. However, the moment that you start to expect the same of others, you simply set yourself up for failure of the most disappointing kind. Mostly because you did it to yourself by imagining that everyone lives by the same code of conduct that you do.
In the past, I’ve experienced this bitter hurt when it comes to loved ones, but this makes sense because you’re willing to put yourself out on a limb for them and can actually discuss your intentions and feelings with them if things don’t go right (and if both parties value the relationship, they’ll find a way to work with and/or around the issue). However, why would you want to do that with other people? Especially because they are not that invested in the consequences of their non-reciprocity.
I find that although I believe myself to be a serial optimist that constantly believes in the good in people, I also have found out from experience that it’s simply not sustainable for my heart. I instead hold both these ideas simultaneously — I do believe that everyone has good in them, but I shouldn’t always expect them to show it to me. If they do, great! If not, meh…let’s move on. It shouldn’t be something that scars you for life or damages your relationship with that person forever.
So, that was me ranting after a particularly uncomfortable situation which left me feeling hurt; especially because someone had cajoled me into thinking differently than the views expressed here. What do you think? I’d love to hear your responses.