Having An Imaginary Friend As An Adult

As a child, I spent a lot of time creating stories and acting them out. I read a lot when I was younger. Pair that with an active imagination and lots of time on my hands and it creates the exact right conditions for it.

Despite all this, I never had an imaginary friend, as many kids do. They bring them to life with each call of their name and inclusion in games and family gatherings.

Sometimes, families will indulge the child — accepting the strange quirk as a passing phase.

However, as we grow older, we develop a different kind of imaginary friend — a more matured, sadder, a more twisted kind — an unrequited love.

Sometimes you vaguely realize that you’re creating this imaginary friend and may even want to stop it.

But the heart fuels the brain beyond reason and what you end up with is layers and layers of made-up stories and mists of indistinguishable emotions about this person’s personality and their thoughts and emotions about you.

Caked up in this way upon each other, it becomes hard to discern fantasy from reality.

Sometimes, the heart and mind collaborate so seamlessly, your very own Bonnie and Clyde pairing, that you don’t even realize that it’s happening — this creation of a pseudo reality.

When your subconscious finally does give you a sharp nudge in the right direction jolting you into reality, it’s still a mammoth task to snap out of it because you’re already in too deep.

You begin to tell yourself that you can live with both real and made-up realities simultaneously — because of course, now you can see through your own lies (LOL. What a ridiculous notion!).

I guess, like any other imaginary friend from one’s childhood, the hope is that someday you’ll grow out of it and mature enough to make real friends.

The only problem is that both the adult heart and mind are a lot slower than a child’s, taking a lot longer to embrace, and a even longer to retract from love.

Nothing like a sad, beautiful song with haunting lyrics to get you in the mood…Enjoy.

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Identity, personality and relationships: works-in-progress. Join me in the unearthing of myself through my writing. Karibuni!

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Aleesha Suleman

Aleesha Suleman

Identity, personality and relationships: works-in-progress. Join me in the unearthing of myself through my writing. Karibuni!

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