TRAPPED AND ANGRY.
I feel trapped and angry.
I want to punch someone in the face.
Just give me a reason to punch you.
Just do something and I’ll make you regret it.
DO SOMETHING ALREADY!
All I keep getting is emotional scars.
Those don’t show themselves as easily
as a black eye,
a cut lip
or a terrifyingly greenish-purplish bruise.
“Always be respectful to your elders”
Even if things got really bad and I felt
ANGRY. MAD. FRUSTRATED. PISSED OFF.
That’s no call to be disrespectful!
Oh dear no!
Even when people were being downright assholes.
I guess I’ll just shut up. What good will it do? I have absolutely no power here.
I am simply a pawn in this weird,
twisted game of two-faced nonsense
we play with each other;
plastering on smiles while plotting endlessly the others’ demise,
putting on a spectacular performance for the rest of the world.
Instead, I’ll blast some really angry music and
hope you get the fucking message.
This is a piece I wrote some time ago to express the grief, anger, bitterness I was feeling. A lot of it, residue from my childhood and teenage years. Even though I don’t feel this angry any more, I’m still hurt. I think this is the kind of thing you never fully get over, but it becomes a part of you and your psyche. I sometimes think that this is the kind of thing you don’t realize has fucked you up until much later in your life. I was really grateful to have music, especially rock music, to help me get through the tough times. I got the words and space to feel and express myself in ways I could never verbalize or face directly. I’ll be forever grateful for the music, my family (especially my brother) and the amazing friends I had and have today.